Taliban government demands remaining Talibanese be rescued from Alberta and Jason Kenney

Afghan people demand that Taliban rescue remaining Talibanese from Alberta and Jason Kenny
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The newly minted feminist nation The Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan is being criticized for leaving Taliban citizens behind in the hellscape that is Jason Kenney’s Alberta.
In the wake of the 4th wave of COVID-19, arch-terrorist Premier Jason Kenney is perpetuating a modern-day Massacre of the Innocents.

Massacre of the Innocents by Jason Kenney
Jason Kenney's UCP Government, and what he is doing to Alberta

Despite the deaths of between zero and one million children in Alberta from COVID-19, the illegitimate government of Alberta has opted to force children in to schools. Since opening, ((52×90)/2340×2)-4 children have already died and that number is expected to multiply in the coming days and weeks until this wave mysteriously ends at the same time of year as it ended last year, coinciding with the end flu season.

A spokesperson from the Taliban, Zabiullah Mujahid (he/him) said that he was horrified to learn that Taliban citizens had been left behind in Alberta after Terrorist Jason Kenney took power in a rigged election in 2019. Kenney’s United Conservative Party was listed by the Taliban as a terrorist organization shortly after its inception in 2017.

Zabiullah Mujahid (he/him)
Zabiullah Mujahid (he/him)

Mujahid (he/him) said that the Taliban disapproved of killing thousands of citizens through bio-terror, preferring decapitation instead.

“The average age of his (Kenney’s) victims are 80 years young with their whole lives ahead of them”

Mujahid (he/him) noted that there is a spark of hope:

“Alberta’s biological warfare, although horrific, targets birthing persons more so than non-birthing persons, and that’s something that we like to see”

Although all of us at The Woke and Mail like to see more inclusion of birthing persons, we suspect that this is just luck rather than a conscious choice from Kenney to be more diverse and inclusive.
Mujahid (he/him) expressed concern over the Taliban children in Alberta:

“Though there is statistically a 0% chance of a child dying from COVID-19, the actual number is much higher if you look at similar fascist regions like Ontario”

Ontario’s biological terror death rate among children and teens under Ford’s regime is also statistically 0, however, if you look more closely at the data at least one person died.

“We must let children die as Allah wills it. If a child is dying slowly and painfully from cancer or obesity related type 2 diabetes, it is haram to let that child die from COVID-19” 

said Taliban Health Minister Allawi S’ina Bahdmud harshly.

We interviewed a Taliban citizen in Alberta, who’s name has been changed to John Doe for the purpose of this article.

John worries that one or several of his child brides could get sick in Kenney’s death schools.

“It is bad enough that the UCP is educating girls, but now I have to worry that one of them might come home and kill me, which incidentally, is a huge part of why we don’t educate girls”

Premiere Kenney has stated that he is pro children and pro education.

“If the UCP were were really interested in protecting children, they’d authorize the vaccine for children, and pregnant children”

We couldn’t agree more John. Mr Kenney, if you want to be considered a legitimate government, close the schools and start vaccinating children.

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