Hillary Clinton’s MasterClass to Include Lesson on the Perfect Murder

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Our feminist society has made considerable progress for women’s rights. Although the fact that women are not yet allowed to publicly kill men or turn them into our personal slaves clearly demonstrates that we are still living in the patriarchal Dark Ages. Thankfully, women’s rights champion Hillary Clinton is here to change that. You can’t stop progress.

This week Hillary Rodham Clinton (my president) announced her new life coaching MasterClass for women, girls, and trans women everywhere. Thanks to an exclusive sneak peek, The Woke & Mail is thrilled to report that part of the online course will focus on getting away with the perfect murder.

“This specific lesson is Hillary’s dignified response to toxic masculinity.”

HRC’s Publicist

The course also gives simple yet powerful advice on achieving success. Developing easy habits like being born into a wealthy family, having connections with powerful people (preferably those who own private islands), eating cheese pizza, and the basics of spirit cooking. These lessons will greatly build your resilience, help you achieve any goal, and most importantly teach you how to absolve yourself of all guilt. And even if you suffer a minor setback, the MasterClass has an entire lesson series on blaming Russia.

In a world, where Jordan Peterson’s dog whistles of “personal responsibility,” “slaying the chaos dragon,” and “becoming the best version of oneself” poison the well of self-help discourse, Hillary’s insights are a welcome change. Whether it’s perfecting your public image as the world’s best philanthropist or making your ex conveniently disappear, this online class will turn your life around!

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