Paper Water Bottle Sort-of-Things are Coming to Canada!

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You can finally stop waiting.  Thanks to the supreme intelligence of Prime Minister our guilt ridden days of relying on single use plastics is soon coming to an end.

In an accidental leak uttered by the Prime Ruler himself, Justin Trudeau revealed Monday that him and his family are already using “paper like drink-box water bottles sort of things” to quench their thirst.

It is not at all surprisingly that are handsome leader is ahead of the trends when it comes to single handed-ly saving the *fucking* planet.  Many other Canadians and all other people around the world of high moral standard can only stand in awe in how great of a person Justin is, inside and out.

Trudeau’s critics did their own shoddy research and have been claiming outlandish fake information such as, “Paper Water Bottles don’t exist. ”  Certain inbred pessimists have gone as far as referring to actual reality making false accusations like, “We have only ever seen him use plastic bottles.”  Such hateful sentiments are all coming unanimously from racist conservatives who literally get off on pollution and preventing late term abortions.

UPDATE (June 12th 2019 – 6:01am) : Apparently Paper Water Bottles don’t actually exist yet according to the people we’ve talked to however that is not a reason to not still get excited!  Top scientists and our friend who owns a laser cutter machine has already started on the prototype for Justin’s brilliant idea. Pictured below.  Sunny Ways Justin is Back!

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This article is from September. Our progressive LGBTQ BIPOC journalists are clearly ahead of the curb 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

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