Santa confirms, all PPC Supporters To Be Put On the Naughty List For Life

Santa Confirms all PPC Supporters to be put on the Naughty List for Life
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The fierce new non-binary LGBTQ+ Santa Claus didn’t have many great things to say about anti-vaxxers this Holiday season. In fact there were many explicatives used in the letter returned from the North Pole. Aside from their home in the Arctic circle LITERALLY MELTING due to Climate Change – they had nothing good to say about any Canadian who would dare support the People’s Party of Canada and Maxime Bernier.

“They’re all F*cking morons, each and every last one of them! Don’t they know we’re in a pandemic!? Merry Christmas!”

“It’s nothing personal”, Father Christmas assured us. When asked about his patriarchal title of “Father”, Saint Nicholas clarified that he now uses they/them pronouns. Considering Santa has only just come out of the closet and is not yet transgender, calling they a ‘Saint’ is a stretch.

According to our research, being permanently put on the Naughty List by Santa happens seldomly. However – aside from the nazis – there are very few groups in history that have managed to be as bad transphobic and racist as PPC supporters.

While excluding certain boys and girls is a great step towards a more inclusive Christmas, we would like to see more action for diversity and equity taken in the near future. In order to undo the damage done by long years of patriarchal exploitation, Santa must eliminate naughty lists for racialized BIPOC children altogether, introduce diversity quotas and equitable pay for elves in the workshop, and step down to be replaced by a transgender Black Muslim woman. Although these steps will not be remotely enough to soothe the pain and heal the wounds inflicted by an oppressive tradition, it will still be somewhat of a start.

Happy Hanukkah and Happy Holidays!


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