The Covid pandemic has taught us how to be responsible citizens by trusting the science and not questioning authority. Authorities in western countries are authorities for a reason. (They know better and trust the science from only the best agreed upon experts and studies as per Pfizer recommendations.)
Thanks to our healthy focus on safety over the past two years, we have had plenty of practice to prepare for the real scourge that threatens to push the world into the Dark Ages forever: Russia and Vladimir P****. (We censored he who must not be named’s last name to protect our readers.)
The lessons learned from the pandemic are already being put into practice. We have gone from trusting the science to trusting everything we see from news authorities, even if it is later proven to be CGI or from a video game. We have all agreed that any adverse effects from the vaccine are completely coincidental and inconclusive. And in Ukraine, the outlandish claims that Neo-Nazis are killing innocent civilians, we know, are false.
Azov battalion? Fact checkers confirmed that many if not ALL fighting for Ukraine are a stunning and brave LGBTTQQ2SIAMAP+ battalion of diverse volunteers! US-funded biolabs? They don’t exist either but Russia could use them to commit a bioweapon attack against NATO which is horrible (yes Russia is the bad guy here once again, we researched this).
Just like with fighting Covid, however, putting emojis and photos into your social media profiles is the best way you can do your part to fight Russia. Forget masks and syringe emojis – they are very 2021 and passe. If you don’t have your 5th shot by now I can’t imagine you have many remaining friends anyway. Putting Ukraine flags into your profile photos and names is the socially responsible thing to do. Many studies are coming out suggesting that if enough people do this, we will stop the war.
Despite many upstanding individuals already having done their part by putting a Ukraine flag into their profile, Russia is still conducting its illegal invasion. Clearly Ukraine flags on social media are safe and effective, but more needs to be done. This is why Trudeau has announced today that a booster Ukraine flag in social media profiles will be mandated for all federal employees. A bill is in the works to extend the mandate to the private sector country-wide. The Federal government is also working with provincial authorities to enforce Ukraine flags in all public settings including restaurants and movie theatres.
“Let me be clear – it’s about keeping Canadians and Ukrainians safe from Russia. We will never end World War III if everyone does not do their part to protect one another and our grandmas from Putin. So if you have not already – please, put two Ukraine flags in all your social media profiles. Now is the time.”
– Justin Trudeau addressing the nation in the House of Commons.
These measures have already been met with vitriol from far-right conspiracy theorists who claim Ukraine flags in social media bios “Do nothing” or are “just shallow self-serving virtue signals”.
Of course it has come to light that anyone who has sympathy for Russians, is a Russian spy and/or a far-right conspiracy nut case as per the studies conducted by the New York Times Twitter account. This includes anyone who doesn’t unequivocally support NATO and oppose a certain individual who reminds us of a certain Canadian dish made with fries, cheese curds, and gravy, that we dare not name here.
Dr. Theresa Tam has stated that the rising death toll seen in the conflict between Ukraine and Russia means that the flags are working.
When asked about further measures to stop Putin’s invasion, Trudeau stated third and fourth booster flags may be required down the line. When it is time, you will be the first to hear about it from our BIPOC LGBTQQII2SAMAPS+ experts, here at The Woke & Mail.