TORONTO, ON – John Tory fell victim to a terrorist attack last week in Yorkville. He was viciously criticized on a restaurant patio by a lowly citizen of Toronto while trying to enjoy his Gold Leaf Encrusted Wagyu Canapé. The terrorist in question was an English-speaking straight white male, so presumably, a right wing extremist.
He callously used violence (words) to attack John Tory and irreparably ruin his dinner. This terrorist also recorded his unspeakable act on video with the intention to spread it online to other extremist sources like RebelNews.com
Right-Wing Terrorist: Hey John Tory, how many lives do you think you’ve ruined?
Innocent Victim: You’re ruining our lives right now
How do we heal from this Trauma?
Thankfully, we were able to invite Dr. McCallister on the Woke & Mail podcast to help us. He guides us through effective recovery strategies from witnessing this traumatic event of our Mayor having his entrée interrupted. Through patience, breathing excercises, and buying his book, Dr. McCallister is helping us recover and get back to our normal lives. Listen below.
Dr. McCallister
Author of the Best Selling “Verbal Assault” series of self-help books, Dr. McCallister specializes in Post-traumatic stress disorder in wealthy elites. His current master’s studies focus specifically on vulnerable and confused 19-26 year old women in university.
The trauma has left Canadians and Torontonians stunned and horrified. The evil of these right wing terrorists and their verbal attacks must be stopped by any means necessary.
Fellow patrons of the restaurant and other innocent bystanders out on the patio now suffer from debilitating PTSD after witnessing the terrorist attack against John. The right wing terrorist perpetrator made claims during his attack that he has “friends that are Canadian veterans” but we know that’s a lie. Many are now double-booking their therapy appointments because of this horrific tragedy.
Asking questions is a prevailing deadly weapon amongst far-right extremists. New studies indicate that “question-asking” is also a grotesque pastime of the common conservative and conspiracy theorist. The high-profile experts from the Canadian Anti-Hate Network tell us that these groups are likely working together: conservatives, conspiracy theorists, and far-right terrorists. “There’s no difference,” members of CANH have suggested. If the Federal Government of Canada doesn’t implement strict speech laws and authoritarian control over the internet, we all soon might be dead. “Falling victim to inquiry”, as some experts put it.
Dr. McCallister has brought forth a legislative suggestion to help protect John Tory and other vulnerable individuals and groups from future terrorist attacks. It would involve the muting & silencing of all non-essential people. Speaking and voicing an opinion will, in essence, be entirely illegal across the Greater Toronto Area unless you are a politician or famous actor. Of course, these aggressive measures would only be in place for two weeks. Just two weeks. Promise.
