Liberal Polls Now Surging in Taliban Held Ridings (Brampton)

BRAMPTON, ON – The stunning and brave statement from Maryam Monsef has echoed strongly across the country and especially here in Brampton. “Our Brothers, the Taliban”, is what our Liberal Minister for Women and Gender Equality proclaimed yesterday when referring to the mostly peaceful organization who now occupy Afghanistan with grace and integrity.

Cultural Sensitivity Warning:

Although Monsef did not include “sisters” or any gender-neutral terminology in her Taliban statement we are willing to give her a pass. Her status as a Liberal Minister that is also a female, Muslim, Person of Colour has her protected from unfair criticism (or any criticism at all). She has already been through so much having to interact with white oppressors in this racist country of Canada. We can only imagine how traumatic it is for her to have to represent racist white Canadians in parliament day after day.

At federal government update on Canada's evacuation efforts in Afghanistan, Minister Maryam Monsef referred to the Taliban as "our brothers" pic.twitter.com/DKJjOYYUA2

— Natasha Fatah (@NatashaFatah) August 25, 2021

When Monsef uttered “Our Brothers”, her cry for women’s equality and reparations was heard. As a result Liberal party support is now surging in places like Ottawa and Brampton Ontario.

Immediately after Monsef’s statement, members of the Taliban living in Canada were over-joyed. The streets of Brampton filled with Taliban men beaming with pride. The wives of these Taliban men were restricted to the basement of their Brampton homes but wore burqa’s to celebrate the progress toward gender equity and liberation.  This beautiful cultural convention of keeping multiple wives locked in the basement is unfortunately overlooked and underappreciated in a patriarchal capitalist hell hole such as Canada. Haram.

Needless to say, declaring the Taliban, “Our Brothers” had residents of Brampton exploding with enthusiasm.  Support for Justin Trudeau’s Liberal party platform is growing in Taliban held ridings across the country for this upcoming September election.

Unfortunately, the celebration of anything Islamic in Canada is coupled with a tidal wave of Islamophobia. In this case it was Brampton residents who dared to step out of line and make outlandish claims about the Taliban being a “terrorist organization”.  When clarifying her statement to the public yesterday Monsef did say “I continue to believe deeply that the Taliban are a terrorist organization,” but we know she would never actually believe such Islamophobic nonsense. Having done the research here at the Woke & Mail we can assure you that the only terror threat that exists in Canada is white cis-gendered men who have joined the Proud Boys (or watch Rebel News).

These Brampton residents however were relentless in their Islamophobic attacks against the Taliban. Surprisingly none of these attacks came from Proud Boy members. It turns out they were actually from Afghani Muslim women.  Clearly they must have fallen victim to Candace Owens or Ayaan Hirsi Ali brainwashing.

These Islamophobic Muslim women claimed that the Taliban are “gruesomely violent, misogynistic and homophobic.” These liars even made up some outlandish story about how they had to escape Afghanistan as refugees to get away from what they described as “sexual enslavement and barbaric violence.”

Unbelievable. We simply know this is not true.  Islam is a religion of peace and the state of Muslim majority countries across the world is a testament to that. For example biking through a beautiful country like Tajikistan is almost never dangerous. Learning the cultural sensibilities of ISIS is not hard.  And you will be posting unforgettable Instagram stories for days on end while making friends along the way. It’s called being cultured.

We don’t know why citizens of Brampton would ever lie about their fellow brothers in the Taliban like this.  Perhaps they are just jealous of the clout the Taliban are gaining on Twitter.

Hopefully Bramptonians and Canadians alike will recognize the unity sparked from Monsef’s thoughtful statement yesterday. The rise of the Taliban in Canada is something we are whole heartedly looking forward to at the Woke & Mail. This election is an opportunity for everyone in the country to move forward. Forward toward peace and submission.

Remember to vote September 20th. And remember a vote for Justin Trudeau’s Liberals is a vote for the mostly peaceful Taliban.