Fearless Leader Justin Trudeau announced today plans to sell aborted children to upstart non-profit cosmetic company WE Clarity, a totally arms-length company that has nothing to do with the Liberal Party. Although the Liberal Party of Canada donates 1% of its profits to trans-children and trans-tykes charities, further investigation done by Liberal party members has confirmed that Liberal Party members or members of the families of Liberal Party members are definitely not involved with the company WE Clarity.
At a press conference, It’s CEO, Alexandre Trudeau had this to say:
“I see a lot of synergies here. I love businesses where kids help kids”
“I love businesses where kids help kids”
When asked by fake news outlet Rebel News if he saw any conflict having an exclusive contract with the government, Trudeau responded that “I’m speaking to you today as Alexandre. The PM refers to me as Sascha, which is not who I am representing at this moment”
As investigative journalists, that is good enough for us.
“Reduce, Reuse, Recycle”
PM Trudeau is touting this as an environmental win and a key pillar in the rejuvenated national “Reduce, Reuse, Recycle” program.
“This works on all levels. It reduces the number of children that need daycare, and recycles those children in to something important” a government official said.
Left unharvested, zygotes, embryos, and fetuses often grow into humans rather than beauty products which is problematic. First of all grown humans create massive carbon footprints that destroy our mother nature. Second, new Canadians are meant to be born outside of Canada and brought in to vote Liberal. There is a genuine danger that humans born in Canada might be indoctrinated into being partial to conservative values, or worse voting for the People’s Party of Canada.
WE Clarity also has an impeccable track record for producing their products responsibly. Because no animals are used in the production process, only clumps of cells, the cosmetics are certified vegan.
Worried that supply will not meet demand, the Trudeau government notes the relationship between Canadian pregnancy rates and Canadian rates of poverty. “With our policies, our government has a plan to increase the supply of these cosmetic products. For everyone.” Trudeau said.
- They/Them.
- Award winning Journalist.
- Repressively tolerant anti-fascist equalequitarian socialist.
- Home, summer home, and investment homes are on unceded land.
- Double Vaccinated.
- Black Lives Matter.
- All Children Matter.
- Parent to furbaby Spencer The Cat (he/him).
